Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Why I Broke Up With Mother's Day

Now that Mother’s day is over and safely behind us and hopefully the residue is gone, I can tell you why I broke up with Mother’s day. I know it is shocking and came as a surprise to me as well. Matter of fact I have not even broken the news to my children yet! It was not like an epiphany or a sudden realization, it just gradually dawned on me. I went on Facebook a few times on Mother’s day and of course you can imagine… The only thing in my news feed was Happy Mother’s Day, Happy Mother’s Day, Happy Mother’s Day, which in and of itself was not bad. It was just really tiring having to try to respond to all of that and sending private Happy Mother’s day messages, remembering who to send them to and who not to send them to.

Is it wrong to think that the woman who births you should receiver flowers, and dinners, and gifts, and phone calls, more than once a year? Why does society think it is okay to give a mother flowers only on Mother’s day? Random flowers are just as nice. In fact random gifts are nicer because they are unexpected. I would not mind flowers just because or a breakfast/dinner just for the heck of it. A phone call like Stevie Wonder said, “I just called to say I love you, I just called to say how much I care”. Why do you think it is okay to call your mother only if you want something? Or go visit just to have her cook for you, or sew for you, or do your laundry, etc. I’m not saying those things are wrong, but what I’m saying is that your relationship should not be about just what you get out of it. It should be a relationship of both parties giving and taking. The bible tells us to honor our mothers and fathers. I does not say honor them once a year.

In my 20’s for me Mother’s day was a regular day because my children were young so I was still cooking my own dinners, baking my own cake, etc. During my marriage I was pretty much still a single parent even though I was married. In my 30’s I divorced and I adopted the “I am Mother and Father” ideology. My kids were older so I got the pictures, poems, and homemade gifts. All of which I loved! In my 40’s my children were older and they bought flowers and made dinners, and took me out to eat. I finally came to realize that I am in fact NOT mother and father, I am Mother. I cannot take away the tremendous task of helping to create an awesome person by fertilizing an egg from the father. God used a certain man and a certain woman to combine with that specific DNA to create miracles. Not everyone is chosen for that task, who am I to take that away and claim that position? So I am happy to be what God created me to be, the mother! Now, just about in my 50’s I came to another way of thinking. Many are not mothers. Some cannot be a mother for biological reasons. Some may not have been physically, mentally, or spiritually equipped to be a mother. Some for whatever reason may have lost a child, SIDS, sickness, courts, violence, kidnapping, etc. For whatever reason they had a child taken from them. On the other hand many have lost a mother, or are estranged from their mother. So on this day of flowers and gifts has anyone stopped to think of how they may feel. I have a friend from childhood who lost a child. I cannot even begin to imagine how she feels and what she must go through every mother’s day. And I never really even thought about it until recently. On a day filled with love and flowers, her son is no longer around to bring her flowers, or take her out to dinner, or call her and say “Happy Mother’s Day”.
I can’t imagine the alienation or sadness that might come from being excluded from special services or presentations or a simple flower because your child or your mother died. Seems cruel to me. But then again this is only MY thoughts on the subject. Of course the world will continue on doing whatever they want to do. So carry on, do you!
I think Mother's Day is an over commercialized opportunity for corporations to make money (florists, card companies, jewelry companies, etc.) much like the big corporate rip off that is valentine's day, but that's another story! If you are interested you may want to read the origins of Mother’s Day HERE and HERE. I found it interesting (and a testament to how a good idea can turn out being a bad mistake!).
This is not a criticism or condemnation on anyone else, on what you may do or don't do, feel or don't feel. Do you just as I'm going to do me!

As always this is my opinion and my thoughts and why I Broke Up With Mother’s Day
Now to tell my kids…


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Monday, April 27, 2015

Prove it!

You are innocent until proven guilty … or so they say. In order to PROVE anything you need solid evidence. There has to be proof of what is said. Just the WORDS of others or just your WORDS are not enough to prove anything.

According to Dictionary.com
Proof means:
1. Evidence sufficient to establish a thing as true, or to produce belief in its truth.
2. Anything serving as such evidence: What proof do you have?
3. The act of testing or making trial of anything; test; trial: to put a thing to the proof.
4. The establishment of the truth of anything; demonstration.
The key words here are EVIDENCE and DEMONSTRATION.

So if you were ACCUSED OF BEING A CHRISTIAN … What PROOF, EVIDENCE, or DEMONSTRATION in and of your life would there be? 

How could anyone PROVE that you are who and what you say you are?

Don't tell me SHOW ME!

Think About It!

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Sunday, March 15, 2015

Out Of Darkness Into HIS Marvelous Light

King James Version 1 Peter 2:9 says, “But Ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of Him who hath called you out of darkness into His marvelous light”.

Amplified Version 1 Peter 2:9 says, “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a dedicated nation God’s own purchased, special people, that you may set forth the wonderful deeds and display the virtues and perfections of Him Who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light”.

This verse seems very clear. We are a chosen generation. If you ask who chose us I would tell you that we are chosen by God Himself. The verse also says that we are a royal priesthood. So if we are chosen by God Himself, it would also make sense that God has anointed us a royal priesthood. God has set us aside as His own holy nation, His peculiar people. Peculiar means that we are strange, or odd, or unusual, but it also means that we are unfamiliar or unexpected. Peculiar also means that we belong exclusively to God. This should tell us that as Christians we should NOT be the regular, normal, expected type of people. We are set aside to be, different, unexpected. The amplified version emphasizes that we are purchased (obviously by the blood of Jesus), we are special. But more importantly the amplified version tells us that not only are we to show wonderful deeds but we are to DISPLAY the virtues and perfections of Him (God) who called us out of the darkness (dark places) and into His marvelous light.

When you stop and think about your present situations are you looking at them the way God sees them? Or are you looking at them through the darkened lens of the world. God makes it clear that we are called out of darkness and into HIS marvelous light. So when we look at our situations we should be looking at them through the light (through the light of redemption, the light of miracles, the light of new life, the light of daily grace and mercies, etc.) not through the darkened lens of this world. We should be seeing things the way God sees them and not the way the world tells us to see them. Seeing things the way God sees them can often be hard when the pressures of the world are weighing you down and you can only see the darkness of your surroundings and situations. 
However, no matter what the situation may look like, God always has a plan. Jesus died that we may have life and life more abundantly. That means that no matter what it looks like, feels like, or appears to be ANY and ALL situations must be seen through the light of Christ in order to display God’s virtues and God’s perfection. It is not only a matter of having faith but also a matter of having EXPECTATION. We simply need to EXPECT God to shine light on our situations so that His perfections can be seen!

I recently moved. My former apartment, due to building and window placement was always dark. Surrounding buildings and blackout screens blocked the majority of the sunlight. This absence of sunlight over time proved to darken my mood and unwittingly effect my interactions with others (yes, even with God). However once I moved into the new place, which has an abundance of windows and direct sunlight, things started to look and feel differently. It is like having a new outlook on life. Did you know that the lack of sunlight can result in chemical changes in the brain that can lead to depression and feelings of hopelessness?
When faced with tough issues and situations get yourself into the sunlight which will help you see the SONlight.

You will be surprised how much better things look in the SONlight!

In Love & Light!

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Sunday, January 25, 2015

Racism, Sexism, Yes This Is America!

I often hear people say, "I'm NOT into politics" and every time I hear that I think or say "Then you better be into JESUS"! This world that we know and sometimes love is spiraling out of control. Times are crucial and PRAYER is REQUIRED, Prayer is NOT OPTIONAL!

You support what you believe in. If you believe in freedom and justice, than that is what you will support. Prayers REQUIRED! Our world is full of problems and Isms. Yes, I said Isms, like RACISM, SEXISM, FEMINISM, etc. I remember when I was young, we were taught a song and it was so cute and so simple and so inspirational. It was a song of unity, hope, and togetherness in our country.

This land is your land, this land is my land
From California, to the New York Island
From the redwood forest, to the gulf stream waters
This land was made for you and me

As I was walking a ribbon of highway
I saw above me an endless skyway
I saw below me a golden valley
This land was made for you and me

HOWEVER, a rarely sung, forgotten verse of this song is perhaps MORE INDICATIVE of the current climate of our beloved America. And they are ...

"In the shadow of the steeple I saw my people, 
By the relief office I seen my people 
As they stood there hungry, 
I stood there asking 
Is this land made for you and me?"

The writer of this song, Woody Guthrie, never meant this song to be a political statement, or a statement of unity and patriotism. He wrote the song as a parody or a critical response to Irving Berlin's song "God Bless America". Woody Guthrie penned this song in 1940 and this forgotten verse is STILL relevant today, 75 years later. This is CLEARLY an America that has a multitude of problems.
Whether you are a political activist, a community activist, a church activist, or any sort of activist, it is clear that America is in dire need of help. So I hope you answer the clarion call and get involved at some level. If you do not do your part (even if your part is simply PRAYING for those in leadership positions), then you become part of the problem. If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. We can no longer just stick our heads in the sand and act like everything is fine. Action IS Required!


Peace and Love All,

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Friday, January 23, 2015

Empty Nest Coming Soon!

Ever have that sense that something is over? That you have reached the end of a thing, time, moment, relationship, or era? I am feeling that way now. Since moving to Texas my children and I have lived together. Not all of them, all at the same time but during our 6 years here in Texas a number of my children at one time or another have lived with me or me with them. I know that some parents get fearful, tearful, or dread the kids leaving. They fear the EMPTY NEST! But alas, I obviously am NOT that parent!

By March the last of the chickens will be flying the coop! I think I may finally be an empty-nester. I know that some parents dread this moment and get all emotional and weepy...
BUT ME.... I am excited about FINALLY being alone. I have many idiosyncrasies. I like things in their place and in a certain way. I like cleanliness and order. I also like peace and quiet ... which I must say is extremely hard to find with 5 children, 3 grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and various friends of the aforementioned! I look forward to coming home to a quiet clean house, not stepping on or over clothes, toys, or anything else that should not be on the floor! I look forward to not having anyone else in my face or space! I look forward to coming home, lighting a few candles, turning on some music and dancing around naked if I want to (Don't Judge Me)!
Don't get me wrong, I am sure there will be moments when the quiet is a bit too quiet. Moments when I get lonely, or moments when I long to hear the voices of my loved ones... HOWEVER I have not gotten there yet! LOL! Right now I am excited to be on my own. And now that I think about it, this will be the first time I am living totally and completely ALONE! WOOHOO!!! I was a young parent (had my first child at 19) so I lived with my mom for a while and by the time I got my first place I had 2 small children and a husband. Since that time My children, husband, sister, cousins, various friends in need, etc have been with me. There were times when I lived with my mother,times when my sister lived with me, and other comings and goings. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE my children and grandchildren to forever and back, But I crave alone time! This will be the first time that I will be TOTALLY and COMPLETELY ALONE! Yozaaa! This should be fun!... I anticipate an increase in wine sales!
I'm pretty sure if I get too lonely one of my daughters will gladly drop a grandson off to me ...LOL! They are selfish selfless that way!!

Cheers to all my fellow empty-nesters!!

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Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Live On Purpose

We are officially two weeks into the new year. So far are you liking what 2015 has to offer?? I can honestly say that for me I have been so busy packing that I have not even had time to process the fact that we are in another year. My current lease is up at the end of February which is really approaching very quickly! I am currently living with two of my grown daughters, so we are all hustling to find our own places, pack our stuff, and prepare to move on to our next phases.

School is over for me and I have achieved my MBA -
Master of Business Administration and I am ready to put it to work for me! I gave up Facebook for the month of January and I rather like the absence! I absolutely realize what a big time waster and distraction Facebook can be. I feel like I have more time in my day! I popped back on Facebook to give my daughter a big birthday shout out for her 21st birthday. While I was on I noticed that I had 65 notifications and a few direct messages and I did not feel the need to look at any of them. I got on, did my birthday shout out, and then got back off! If anyone on Facebook needs to contact me they can call, text, or email me. If you cannot reach me through those alternate avenues then whatever you have to say MUST NOT be that important!

I think 2015 will be a year of new beginnings and moving on to new levels in life. I am prepared and ready to move on to the next level, the next assignment, the next call in my life. I am excited as well as anxious because I feel that I have plateaued out at my current level. And I do not want to become stagnant and ineffective so I am more than ready to move on!
I have some prospects and am seeking God's direction and guidance. Needless to say 2015 is starting out with a bang. There are decisions to be made. changes to be made, and moves to be made.
I do not expect things to be easy, but I am expecting clarity of purpose, clarity of thought, purpose of actions. I have NEVER been the type of person to just do things randomly for no reason. I like logical moves that lead to something. I like actions with purpose. One of the best feelings in the world is to KNOW YOUR PURPOSE and WALK IN IT!
So what life changes are you making for 2015? What new experiences and new heights are you embarking on?
Note To Self ... Remember to LIVE ON PURPOSE!


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Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Frosty Vox Box - Review

I recently received a FROSTY VOX BOX in the mail! YAAAAYYYY ME!! This was like an additional Christmas present!
In case you are new to my blog, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE to receive gifts and packages in the mail! The reason I joined the INFLUENSTER community was because I LIKE blogging, I LIKE voicing my opinion, and I LOVE free stuff! And with Influenster I get all of that!

My box contained the following interesting items:

McCormick Gourmet 
All Natural Thyme  
Good flavor, good color, good smell, good taste! Fresh & high quality.

EcoTools Full Volume Styler 
Hair Brush
Not for my thick natural hair :(  Product is for a thinner grade of hair, in thicker hair brush gets caught and tangles and pulls.

Fruit Vines Cherry Bites 
Kids will like it! Has a funny after taste, strawberry might be a better pick.

Boots No7 Protect and Perfect Intense 
Advanced Serum  
Went on smooth, did not dry out or pull skin. Would have liked a trial size. Could not gauge results from this little drop!

NYC New York Color Expert Last 
Lip Color in SugarPlum 
Smooth feel, but wrong color! Moisturizing. I will try a darker color.

Rimmel London Gentle 
Eye Makeup Remover 
Had to use too many cotton balls!

Rimmel Scandaleyes Waterproof 
Kohl Kajal Eyeliner
Absolutely love! Glides on, no pulling or skipping, and eyes did not water!

Celestial Seasonings Candy Cane Lane 
Decaf Green Tea
Nice minty flavor, pleasant drink!

My favorite thing in the box is the Rimmel Scandaleyes Waterproof Kohl Kajal Eyeliner,
My grandson's favorite thing in the box is the Fruit Vines Cherry Bites,
My daughter, the chef's favorite thing in the box is the McCormick all natural Thyme, and 
My daughter the diva's favorite thing in the box is Rimmel Scandaleyes Waterproof Kohl Kajal Eyeliner.

Having natural hair, my LEAST FAVORITE thing in the box was the EcoTools Full Volume Styler Hair Brush. This product is definitely NOT made for thick, curly, coily, natural hair! That brush got tangled in my hair!  

This box had a little something in it for everyone!  How COOL is that?!?!
So many great products and so little time!!
Ooooooooh the benefits of being a BLOGGER!!

Thank you Influenster!

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Monday, January 5, 2015

McCormick Thyme Review

In my recent Frosty Vox Box I received from INFLUENSTER, I received some McCormick All Natural Thyme. The same day that I received the Thyme my daughter (the Chef) made some spinach dip. She used the Thyme to add a little kick to it! She loves cooking with McCormick seasonings because of their high quality and freshness. Thank you #McCormick and #Influenster!
The Thyme is good and fresh! A good addition to your holiday, anyday, and everyday meals!
I received the McCormick Thyme complimentary to test and review.


Happy Cooking!

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Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Out With The Old 2014, In With The New 2015

As the year of 2014 draws to an end I want to take a moment to reflect on my biggest accomplishment of 2014. Some of you may know that I have been in school for a number of years. To date I have obtained an Associate Degree in Human Services Management (2010). I have also obtained a Bachelor Degree in Human Services Management (2012). But I have topped it all off with finally completing and obtaining my Master Degree in Business Administration (2014)!
Completing school was a blessing! I am proud to have completed this program and proud to continue the legacy of pushing yourself to do better. Everyone is not cut out for scholarly learning BUT everyone IS equipped to push themselves to take the next step. You have to know yourself and know what you are good at. Once you have established what you are good at, then you should go a little farther and be the BEST at whatever it is you do!
Everyone is NOT called to be the Boss, or be an Entrepreneur, or an Executive, or to be an Author, etc BUT I encourage you to find YOUR NICHE and then work the hell out of it!!
Block out the background noise (whatever that may be) and KEEP MOVING FORWARD!
By background noise I mean anything that is put out in the atmosphere to distract you, slow you down, discourage you, or hinder you from accomplishing what you set out to do. For me a big source of background noise has been the people who feel that online school is a farce and not comparable to traditional brick and mortar schools. I obtained my higher learning from an online school and I must say that the work was pretty much strenuous like a traditional school. The textbooks we used were the same textbooks used in traditional schools, the number of papers I had to write was comparable to and in some classes more than the traditional schools require students to write. So I paid little attention to those who disagree with online education. I worked EXTREMELY HARD and am EXTREMELY PROUD of what I accomplished! So for me 2014 was the pinnacle or the culmination of years of hard work. 2014 was the end of one level in my life and 2015 will be the beginning of a new level.
So to anyone reading this, let 2014 end, and be thankful for what you have accomplished. BUT be prepared and excited to walk into your next challenge, your next goal, your next accomplishments!
2015 will bring changes so as we close the door on 2014 and cross the threshold into 2015, I say go in prepared to work harder for what you want!
Think Outside the box, Push the Limits, Be Better, BE MORE!
Out With The Old, And In With The New!
welcome in 2015!!

Many Blessing to you and yours, and 

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Monday, November 24, 2014

What A Difference Two Weeks Makes!

Two weeks ago I was stressing and praying and stressing some more. Stress and prayer are pretty much polar opposites!! If you are going to stress over a situation then why pray and if you PRAY OVER THAT SITUATION why stress it?!?! I never claimed to be perfect and to have it all together, or to be solid in the face of adversary. I have fears and anxiety like any other person, so much so that the below post was written! HOWEVER Here I am 2 WEEKS later to tell you that no matter what storm you are in the midst of GOD IS THERE! No matter what it looks like, feels like, or appears to be GOD GOT THIS!

Two Weeks ago, for BlaqueBerry (an online magazine) I wrote.....
TWO MORE WEEKS! TWO MORE WEEKS! Two more weeks until what, you ask. Two more weeks until I complete school and can officially claim my M.B.A.! This should be a time of great joy, excitement, and enjoyment. I have worked for years to reach this pinnacle. I powered through my Associate degree, and then went straight into my Bachelor degree program. Upon completion of the Bachelor degree program, I thought I was finished. Ahh but something said CONTINUE ON! Therefore, I entered the MBA program. I have focused, I have been determined, I have been resolute. In two more weeks, I will have completed what I started out to do.

This is fine… HOWEVER… I do not feel that exhilaration that I believe I should feel. Instead, I feel ANXIETY, FEAR, INDECISIVENESS, and UNCERTAINTY. I know, I know…. The bible says in Philippians 4:6-7 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

I know the Word and I know I should not be anxious but I am. During my time in school, I have worked in temporary jobs, per diem jobs, and worked for myself. I focused on school so I could land that PERFECT JOB. Now that school is almost over I have all types of things running through my head like, suppose, I do not find a good job? What if no one wants me? I am too old to be job hunting. The job market has changed and what if I do not fit in? All of these questions and concerns and more are swirling around in my head.

As an older, African-American woman living in Texas, I am aware of the plethora of “odds” against me! People are supportive, and helpful, telling me who is hiring, what company I should work at, and where I should be looking. However, HONESTLY, I wish people would just back off a little! They are well meaning, but I am starting to feel pressured! Moreover, this is just adding to my already raw, and over exposed nerves! One quote that I like a lot and have read over and over during the harder parts of my school journey is, “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light” by Aristotle Onassis. This is so true and where I am now. I am trying to get in to a place of peace and calm, a place where I can clearly hear and see what is before me.

I know that sometimes even the strongest people have moments of weakness. My prayer is, Lord, you know the big picture, and your plans are perfect. I will rest in you.

WELL!!!!! Here we are 2 WEEKS LATER and IT IS FINISHED! MBA BABY!!!!!!


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