Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Words Of Wisdom About... Fatherhood

I started a weekly post titled "Words Of Wisdom About...". Each Tuesday I publish a post written by a guest blogger who will talk about a topic of my choosing. Today's post is my fourth installment of these guest posts. Please enjoy as Dr. Torrence Stephens talks about Fatherhood & Father's Day! Enjoy!

I will be the first one to admit that being a parent, a father is on the job training. I have from this point of view, had two jobs, one with 16 years experience (number one son) and the other with 3 years experience (number one daughter). But as life, I live and learn. What I have noticed is that there seems to be no difference how I deal with them, the commonality is that I would give my life from them, love the way they call me poppa, and how no matter what, regardless of what they may have done, no anger could abrogate my desire to put food on their plate and serve it to them at the table.

I do not know how any parent, especially a man, could live day to day without having any interaction with their kids, maybe that's why I don't really celebrate father's day because for me it is each day, each hour and each second I am with them or not with them. For when they are not around me, my actions and my mind make me focus such that it is all about them.

For me, it is hard to say why I am as close to my children as I am. I do not know if it was because I was raised without a father or if it is because I have exceptional home training – something that is lacking in the world today if anyone asked me. I also feel that a son can only learn to be a man from his father, although I admit women can raise a son by themselves, but may eventually end up raising lousy husbands for their daughters. I also believe that it is essential for a girl to see and have a man as a father in her life in the developmental stages so that she will know what men do and what is to be expected of a man. Too many women I meet have not had such and end up thinking their worth only lives within their looks or sex. Folk here don't get down like that and pray and hope that my little princess, via seeing and interacting with my son and I will know what men are, what they do and what defines them as such – hard work, kindness, integrity and respect.

So on this father's day, father's I am talking to you. Don't do what you don't desire for your children. See for me, it is an honor to have started my new venture, my store and having both of my seeds working it with me. I mean is it really fathers day, or family day? I would answer both and that if I had my way, it would be father's minute, because it is each minute that counts the most according to folk here, that you have the ability to talk, listen and hold your children in your embrace.

Torrence T. Stephens, PhD

Originally, from Memphis, Tennessee, he attended Morehouse College where he studied, psychology, biology and chemistry. He received a master's degree in Educational Psychology and Measurement from Atlanta University and a Ph.D. in Counseling from Clark Atlanta University. He is the father of two and currently lives in Palmetto, Georgia, just outside Atlanta. He is an author and has a novel, three books of short stories and a book of sonnets on the market. Dr. Stephens is also the owner of Braincell a store that specializes in merchandise and gourmet food for dogs.

Thanks to Dr. Stephens for lending his voice to my blog. I am honored! Thank you guys for hanging out and reading this post, please sound in, leave a comment!

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