Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Words Of Wisdom About... Fatherhood

I started a weekly post titled "Words Of Wisdom About...". Each Tuesday I publish a post written by a guest blogger who will talk about a topic of my choosing. Today's post is my fourth installment of these guest posts. Please enjoy as Dr. Torrence Stephens talks about Fatherhood & Father's Day! Enjoy!

I will be the first one to admit that being a parent, a father is on the job training. I have from this point of view, had two jobs, one with 16 years experience (number one son) and the other with 3 years experience (number one daughter). But as life, I live and learn. What I have noticed is that there seems to be no difference how I deal with them, the commonality is that I would give my life from them, love the way they call me poppa, and how no matter what, regardless of what they may have done, no anger could abrogate my desire to put food on their plate and serve it to them at the table.

I do not know how any parent, especially a man, could live day to day without having any interaction with their kids, maybe that's why I don't really celebrate father's day because for me it is each day, each hour and each second I am with them or not with them. For when they are not around me, my actions and my mind make me focus such that it is all about them.

For me, it is hard to say why I am as close to my children as I am. I do not know if it was because I was raised without a father or if it is because I have exceptional home training – something that is lacking in the world today if anyone asked me. I also feel that a son can only learn to be a man from his father, although I admit women can raise a son by themselves, but may eventually end up raising lousy husbands for their daughters. I also believe that it is essential for a girl to see and have a man as a father in her life in the developmental stages so that she will know what men do and what is to be expected of a man. Too many women I meet have not had such and end up thinking their worth only lives within their looks or sex. Folk here don't get down like that and pray and hope that my little princess, via seeing and interacting with my son and I will know what men are, what they do and what defines them as such – hard work, kindness, integrity and respect.

So on this father's day, father's I am talking to you. Don't do what you don't desire for your children. See for me, it is an honor to have started my new venture, my store and having both of my seeds working it with me. I mean is it really fathers day, or family day? I would answer both and that if I had my way, it would be father's minute, because it is each minute that counts the most according to folk here, that you have the ability to talk, listen and hold your children in your embrace.

Torrence T. Stephens, PhD

Originally, from Memphis, Tennessee, he attended Morehouse College where he studied, psychology, biology and chemistry. He received a master's degree in Educational Psychology and Measurement from Atlanta University and a Ph.D. in Counseling from Clark Atlanta University. He is the father of two and currently lives in Palmetto, Georgia, just outside Atlanta. He is an author and has a novel, three books of short stories and a book of sonnets on the market. Dr. Stephens is also the owner of Braincell a store that specializes in merchandise and gourmet food for dogs.

Thanks to Dr. Stephens for lending his voice to my blog. I am honored! Thank you guys for hanging out and reading this post, please sound in, leave a comment!

Peace & Love

13 People Saying Something!

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T 17 June, 2008 11:43

thanks 4 the love sis

SjP 17 June, 2008 14:46

I always love reading Dr. T's powerful words of wisdom and this post is no different!


Regina 17 June, 2008 15:45

@ Torrence, Thanks for coming through and sharing your heart with us! It is good to hear from men bloggers about family matters! I am honored!

@SjP, Yes he is a man of many talents and much knowledge!

Shelia 17 June, 2008 16:20

Very nice Torrence, it's beautiful to see your commitment to family. The blessing to you and the children will be without measure. The value in the presence of a great dad is incredible.

msladydeborah 17 June, 2008 19:52

Good Word!

Thanks for making me aware of this sharing of honesty, wisdom and love!

bluedreamer27 18 June, 2008 08:31

WOW i love this kind of portion
its nice and perfect post for all fathers for the fathers day
great and superb regina
love it

Believer 1964 18 June, 2008 14:09

@ Dr. T
I have seen your comments where I frequent and never followed you. Shame on me! You are certainly a refreshing voice. These sentiments of fatherhood are remarks that make you stand to attention.

You've arrested my heart! As a fatherless child, I only wish for a "minute" my father would have thought, said, or even written those things so I could benefit.

You are a man of great integrity and you're children are truly blessed. Your heart is an open book and I look forward to getting to know you.

I'm so filled with emotion I wish I could shout from the mountaintop about you, but God will do that. ;) In the meantime, I'll have to just give you a shout out on my next Blog Safari.

WOW! This is a winner! If you ever consider keeping a list of favorite posts on your sidebar, please include this one. I am still in awe of this man's heart for his children. Spiritually speaking it's the heart of Our Heavenly Father:
"...regardless of what they may have done, no anger could abrogate my desire to put food on their plate and serve it to them at the table."

So many scriptures come to remembrance regarding unconditional love, feasting at His banquet, taking care of the sparrow, and many more.

Thanks for true words of wisdom and filling my heart with God’s promises.

God bless Regina and Dr. T!

HEALTH NUT WANNABEE MOM 18 June, 2008 23:09

wow! What a beautiful, inspirational, peaceful, loving and educational post!! I thoroughly enjoyed this and felt such happiness at the thought of such a great father (I never had one myself like you mentioned)and person in this world.
Thanks Regina for having such a wonderful guest blogger!! As always I enjoyed your blog today!

Bridget 18 June, 2008 23:43

Great post, refreshing, uplifting, and motivational. I have 5 younger brothers I hope they all take to and love fatherhood as much Dr. Stephens. Thank you.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T 19 June, 2008 04:25

Thank you all very much and especially u regina for the chance to share my experiences

blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com 21 June, 2008 01:15

Lovely...thoughtful...generous ...

Thank you!

Days like These! 26 June, 2008 02:40

I really enjoyed reading this post. A MAN of his WORD. True to his children. What a beautifully written post! Thank you for sharing!

Matt 13 November, 2008 17:42


I am contacting you because I am working with the authors of a book about blogs, and I'd like to request permission to use a photograph of yours in this book. Please contact me at matt@wefeelfine.org, and I'd be happy to give you more information about the project. Please paste a link to your blog in the subject field. Your assistance is greatly appreciated.



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