Saturday, January 24, 2009

S.E.X. & Teens

I have a 15 year old daughter. That is a sometimes frightening statement! In today's society any parent raising teen should have some concerns, questions or fears. I have a pretty open relationship with my children. I pray that she knows she can always talk to me about anything. She has a plethora of resources if she wants to talk. Me, grandmother, aunt & uncle, cousins and of course older siblings. I hope she reaches out to someone whenever she feels the need!
Today to many of our youth do not have anyone to talk to. No one to look up to, no one praying and interceding for them. Every child should have someone to reach out to.
Today's society is over run by garbage, and lies and a lot of it comes from TV, radio, movies, and so called friends. A big percentage of the songs our kids listen to is about money, drugs and having sex. I do not listen to garbage radio but I have 5 children so I am pretty much current with songs that go out across the airwaves. Every now and then a song comes out that has a point, a moral, a purpose and the kids will listen to it. One such song is S.E.X by singer Lyfe Jennings. Sometimes parents will hear part of a song and automatically judge the song without having had listened to all of the words. Sometimes parents discredit EVERYTHING about the younger culture. But there are some things out there that have a positive purpose.

Read the words of this song and then weigh in with your opinions.

S.E.X. - Lyfe Jennings (featuring LaLa)

Hey yo you,
You see most cats would take advantage of you right now
But I aint gon do that, you heard
Imma give you the game, right
Imma give it to you because
I dont want somebody to give my little girl the game
So she could find her s.e.x.

[Verse 1:]
Life's a trip
Heard you just turn 17 and finally got some hips
Hustlers on the block go crazy when you lick your lips
But they just want relations, they dont want relationships
(Welcome to the real world)
It aint the same
Fellas old enough to be your daddy know your name
Everybody's talkin bout how much that girl dun changed
Cant quite put your finger on it but you feel it's strange
Like's it's fire in your vains

Girl it's just your s.e.x.
Momma's secret
And daddy gon go crazy when he finds out that his baby's found her
S.e.x., take a deep breath
And think before you let it go

[Verse 2:]
The block is packed
Baby got an additude and proud to holla back
Momma's giving advice but she aint tryna hear that
Not because its wrong, just her delivery is wack
(Shay, get your butt in this house, if I see you with another boy, I swear..)
Life is rough
You say that your not ready for sex but you're in love
He says if you really loved him, you would give it up
Momma says thats just a line guys use to get you're stuff
Which one will you trust?

Girl it's just your s.e.x.
Momma's secret
And daddy gon go crazy when he finds out that his baby's found her
S.e.x., take a deep breath
And think before you let it go

[Verse 3:]
Hey yo Lyfe,
She might take it better coming from a woman (get 'em girl)
See, he'll tell you all kind of things to get in your pants, yeah
Baby, it's a fact that once it's gone, you'll never get it back (never get it back)
Hold on to your innocence
Use your common sense (your worth waiting for)
Be strong
Honey, dont give in, blessings come with patience
Till we meet again, im praying for you

Girl it's just your s.e.x.
Momma's secret
And daddy gon go crazy when he finds out that his baby's found her
S.e.x., take a deep breath
And think before you let it go

[Repeat Chorus]

The embedding for this video is disabled but you can watch it on YouTube HERE.

OK, sound in and let me know what you think.

13 People Saying Something!

♫Musique's Prodigy♫ 24 January, 2009 19:43

I'm so glad that you posted this. Yes I am in the younger generation and I do feel that alot of more experienced adults think we are naive. Thank for posting the song. It is a true message. I've experienced a lot for a 22 year old and I realize that we have people to talk to, but sometimes people act like some subjects are just too taboo.

Marvalus 24 January, 2009 20:09

Ms. Regina - You know I know what this is...I am real with my son...sometimes I think I scare him because I am so real! And like your daughter, he also has a village of folks to turn to when he needs someone other than me or his dad to talk to...I pray that he uses those resources.

Nothing is taboo in my house...because if he doesn't hear the facts from me, he may get some bulls*** from somewhere else.

Regina 24 January, 2009 20:18

@ Prodigy - So sad but very true, a lot of older adults are not free enough or honest enough with themselves to talk freely to others about real life issues. For some odd reason adults act as if they never made mistakes or did anything wrong. We do desire the best for the younger generation and wish that the younger folk would listen to us (we have been there and done ALL of that!!) but when it comes to real life some have the tendency to shut down. There are a few of the older generation who don't mind open and honest dialogue. My children and I discuss EVERYTHING from politics to sex to music and anything in between. I wasn't always saved, and I can still keep it real!
I am fortunate enough to have children that I can talk to about real life issues and I just pray that they truly listen and learn. They keep me grounded and I in turn give them knowledge. With kids ages 23, 22, 19, 18 & 15, you can imagine the kind of dialogue that goes on around here!! My kids trust me enough to even suggest that their friends with issues talk to me. That is a HUGE honor!
I hope some of the older generation reads this post and gets real, get enlightened and have some real discussions with the younger generation.

@ Marvalus - I know you keep it real with your baby!! You and I are very alike in many ways! And you are right, I would rather my kids get the low, down and dirty truth from me than some fool on the street! My kids will tell you I don't mind saying what the real deal is! Your son will definitely thank you for it one day! "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6!!

clnmike 25 January, 2009 14:53

Great post, I agree kids need an open line of communication to get the facts straight or else they will be forced to learn by trial.

Amy 25 January, 2009 22:25

If they won't listen to their parents, then hopefully they'll find other good role models, like this one. I'm constantly frustrated by popular media and its influence and so scared for my daughter(s) and what course they'll take. It's good to know that it's not ALL bad out there. Great lyrics! Thanks for sharing.


You know I too have a 15 year old...and life is really harder raising her more than my son.... I have recently learned somethings about her that mommas dont care to hear....

take care of her and listen to her body language....its talking!!

Shelia 26 January, 2009 08:52

I do not envy you Regina. My daughter will be 21 in July and is in her senior year of college. We've been living coast-to-coast for three years now and I'm just now getting used to the fact that she makes good decisions for herself and feels free to tell me anything. She called me at 2:00 a.m. this morning to review some Black Student Union issues they were working on...she calls for everything thank God...It's so hard with the girls, you just feel like you have to protect them from societies evils that come in many shapes and forms.

No matter how solid a foundation you know that you've given them, the reality that the world can be a lethal place, especially with regard to sex, is most daunting.

Your concerns are valid, the society that we live in can be all consuming on our youth.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T 26 January, 2009 09:40

well i knew when my son was first sexually active last year he told me and asked me for condoms which i gave him. he is smart, but it hard whyen i started earlier than him

Regina 26 January, 2009 10:09

@ Mike - and we know what can happen if youth rely on the trial & error philosophy of life...

@ Amy - The sad part is that all the good stuff appears to be buried under tons of garbage! The old saying is true "It Takes A Village To Raise A Child". As parents we can't do it all alone, we need good teachers, role models, etc to help build up our kids!

@ Oyin - I didn't know you had a 15 year old daughter! It is harder raising girls. You have to stay on top of your game with them!

@ Sheila - LOL! I also have a daughter in another state who likes to call me at 2am! But better a 2 am call then no call. It is hard to realize they can get through on their own. Today's society is lethal. Lord knows my prayer life has increased!

@ Dr.T - I think I recall you posting about your son and sex! It is awesome to see a father, especially a black father so invested in his son's life. I commend you for what you do, because it isn't easy! 26 January, 2009 17:56

I'm thankful I have boys! They are so much easier to handle.

They key is, don't draw a line and see how close you can get to it without going over.

Rather, draw the line and stay as far away from it as you can!

Hey Shae! 27 January, 2009 00:46

Hey Regina,

Great post. Definitely leave the lines of communication open. Also, while having "the talk" in regards to this song, don't forget to bring up the other talk re: violence and being careful who you surround yourself with. The girl in this song & video (Yolanda "La La" Brown) was murdered along with her producer boyfriend in 2007.

bluedreamer27 27 January, 2009 04:53

you know what regina
my teacher told it to us already
i was just so disappointed that todays generation teens are getting more and more liberated and didnt think how serious the sex was
they should have know that it always followed by responsibility
by the way regina i have something for you in my blog i hope you like it

Believer 1964 27 January, 2009 12:24

I like the message, and it's true. Having a daughter and being a woman, I'll dish it out real to her when she's age appropriate. Still, remembering that everybody makes their own decisions, including kids! As parents, our responsibility is not to control, but to bring up the topics and communicate.

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