Saturday, August 22, 2009

What Does It Take To Raise Sons?

What does it take to raise sons?
If you are a single mother one of the hardest jobs you will ever have is trying to raise a boy to be a man. I was married for 11 years after about 5 of those years I knew that I had made a grave mistake. The best thing to come out of my marriage was the sperm which helped produce 3 of my 5 wonderful children. I have 5 children, 3 from my marriage with my husband and 2 I had prior to my marriage. In spite of the 2 sperm donors I must say that my children turned out very well. I have not had "too much" drama with my bunch!
It is hard being a single parent but it is even harder being a single parent while still married! By the sheer grace of God I got through the teen and young adult years with my children. And while I can not say I have been the best mother, I KNOW I was not the worst! I did the best I could do and that counts for a lot!

So back to my original question... What does it take to raise sons?
It takes consistency. It takes tenacity. It takes strength. It takes prayer. It takes fearlessness.
But most importantly, it takes the Grace & Mercy of God! Without the grace of God, I Never Would Have Made It!

The one thing a single mother cannot teach a boy is how to be a man. I did not really have a strong male input when I was growing up. My mother and father divorced when I was young. There were irreconcilable issues after my dad returned from the Vietnam war which just could not be fixed. As a result my father became a distant observer in my life. He loved my sister and I but was not mentally or physically able to contribute much to the parenting, which fell all on my mother.
However, in observing my maternal grandfather I learned a lot about how a real man cares for his family. My grandfather was the strong, silent type. He did not talk much but his presence was always felt in his home. He worked hard and provided for his family. He was loved and respected by ALL who knew him! One of my sons reminds me very much of my grandfather. On this blog you hear a lot about my son Military Man (older son) but there is less known about my son, formerly known as "The Graduate".
His new name is simply "The Man"!
The Man was the first of my 5 children who actually walked across the stage in his High School graduation ceremony, which earned him the name The Graduate. But he has evolved into The Man because of the traits I see in him that remind me of my grandfather. The man has ALWAYS been a hard worker. When we lived in Rochester he worked at Tops Market. He walked in rain, sleet and snow to get to and from work. He is dependable and diligent. Now that we live in Texas he works at Kroger's (supermarket). He is still dependable and diligent, some may even say he is a workaholic! During my recent financial setbacks "The Man" has stepped up and REALLY, REALLY assisted me when I needed it and even if I didn't need it. Even though he does not live with me and has his own bills to pay he always tries to make sure that I have what I need! My son is a good man, a hard worker and a good provider all without the direct influence of a strong male role model in his life. Even though my grandfather died before my children were born I am sure he is proud of the way they are growing and dealing with life. I bet my grandfather looks down on "The Man" and sees the strong provider traits that he himself exhibited and smiles!
I don't know how but I do know that my grandfather has influenced my son's life. Through the sheer grace of God I have managed to raise to AWESOME men, The protector (Military Man) and the provider (The Man) and I praise & thank God for them both!
Do you have sons? What does it take to raise sons?




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3 People Saying Something!

jjbrock 22 August, 2009 16:52

Regina congratulation on a job well done.

R.L.Scovens 22 August, 2009 18:32

I'm not sure what it takes to raise a son, but I have one and I'm gonna do my very best to stay prayed up and teach him everything I can. God knows what he needs that I cannot offer.

Marvalus 23 August, 2009 13:29

There are days when I feel like I'm the only mother in the world who feels the strains of raising a black male child. Then there are days like this, when the voices of others join my cry, and I get to see that hard work and tenacity, as well as a whole lot of prayer, pays off.

Thank you, Ms. Regina...beautiful post.

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