Thursday, May 8, 2014

Stop Talking!

Remember years ago when growing up and you may have come home from school crying and told your parents that so and so (Likely the class or playground bully or the mean girls!) was talking about you. Or someone was talking about your mother. I don't know about YOU but if someone talked about MY mother rest assured a fight followed! But our parents always said, "Sticks and Stones may break your bones but WORDS (or NAMES) will never hurt you". In essence this was our parents way of teaching us to walk away from a fight because violence begets violence. And for children we needed to learn early that fighting will not solve our problems. We needed to be smart about things and gauge our reactions. So our parents ERRONEOUSLY told us that words could not hurt us. Or maybe that was just taught in my childhood!
My mother was pretty big on us (my sister and I) staying out of trouble. We were taught to ignore idiots and to only fight when absolutely necessary...But when it WAS necessary, you pick up the nearest thing to you (bottle, trash can, rock, etc) and bust them upside the head, Hey we grew up in Brooklyn, New York!!!
....Sorry I digress...
Any way, back to the issue. so we grew up thinking that WORDS could not hurt us and that as long as no one put his or her hands on you, you were good. HOWEVER, now that we are grown WE KNOW BETTER! WORDS DO HURT! Words have lasting effects that far exceed the damage of a stick or a stone. Bones mend, and wounds heal but words can cause long lasting psychological damage, words can cause poor self-esteem, low confidence, words can break your will or spirit, words can even kill. WORDS can cause irreparable damage.
Parents back then were worried about physical damage but as we got older we come to realize that mental damage is just as dangerous. The WORDS OF YOUR MOUTH can cause great harm to yourself, your family, or other individuals.
The bible even tells us about the dangers of the words of our mouth...
Proverbs 6:2 - You are snared by the words of your mouth
James 3:8 - But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
Proverbs 15:28 - The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.
Proverbs 13:3 - He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: [but] he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.
But most IMPORTANTLY this scripture tells us that the very POWER of LIFE & DEATH is in our mouth!
Proverbs 18:21 - Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof

So UNDOUBTEDLY the tongue can bless and curse people. It can build someone up or tear them down. Be very careful the words that you speak, because YOU have the power to speak things into existence. Be especially careful of what you say to and about our children. STOP telling them how dumb, stupid, useless, and ugly they are. Start telling them that they are a BLESSING, INTELLIGENT, TALENTED, A LEGACY, and full of POTENTIAL! We need to BUILD UP up not Tear Down our young. And that goes for young children, young adults, and the young in Christ. The young are looking up to us to Lead them, Guide them, and help mold them into the mighty Warriors they can be!
When you open your mouth let something POSITIVE come out or just keep it shut!

So you better WATCH YOUR MOUTH!

BE A Blessing!

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You are so right with this blog post. As a parent I was so concerned about keeping my girls from physical harm, that I used that old adage about sticks and stones.
BUT GOD - However when I got saved and REALLY started to study God's word for myself, He began to reveal to me the true power of words.
That adage is straight from the pits of hell. and many have been deceived by it because we were not studying the Word of God.
All that God created, He created by the use of words. Words are so very important. After I got into a real routine of studying God's word, I was introduced to some other books like "Tongue In Check" and "Living Word", which helped me to go even deeper into understanding the importance of words.
The years I studied with, and participated in Pastor Jack Hayford's Cleansing Stream ministry, and studying "The Bondage Breaker", helped me to break curses I spoke by not knowing the power of the tongue.
Getting closer to God and studying His word helped me to understand why He says that we perish for a lack of knowledge. We need to study, not just listen to the Pastor, study!!!!

Atasha 08 May, 2014 23:12

You are spot on with this post. Words can be so damaging. I am almost 40 and still in a healing process that has been extremely difficult for me especially for the past 2 years. This is coming from something that happened when I was in my teens. I have been telling my kids for as long as I can remember to think before you speak, my parents were very good about that, and I am so very careful of how I speak to and what I say to my kids. If I can save them from having to go through unnecessary hurt or save them from hurting any one with their words I will certainly try my best to do so.

Elfreda Jones 09 May, 2014 00:38

Another colloquialism we were taught, "if you don't have anything good to say, don't say nothing." People at work wonder why, "motor mouth me" don't have much to say. Anywho, this is a very profound blog that lets us know that guardians/parents meant well, we followed suit, but there are issues that were created because of those statements. And because I experienced such things I vowed to never curse or malign my children. My children know, when I am mad, it is "my darling, my sweetheart, my love." You can hear them, "oooooo, mama mad." I decided to flip the script. Before I curse and malign, as I was, I will speak healing words that warn that them that they have just crossed the line and are head for a butt-whuppin

Jackie Seaman 09 May, 2014 11:37

RIGHT! We got older and now know better so we do better. This is why growth an maturity is important, as well as studying the word for ourselves. You can start out as a child doing what others have done or doing what you were told and taught but as you get older YOU BETTER get your own revelation!
You can't get into heaven on your Momma's salvation!

Jackie Seaman 09 May, 2014 11:40

Thank you Lady for weighing in! Yes those words hurt and even for adults they having lasting ramifications. And yes thinking before you speak is wise because once you say something, to follow it up with I'm sorry does not undo the damage that was already done. Once those words escape your mouth.... It is out there in the atmosphere. I'm sorry can't UNDO that.

Jackie Seaman 09 May, 2014 11:44

Missy Elfreda! Yes Ma'am absolutely right! Those angry words are the worst. Good strategy turning those around.
You can buy a child all the candy, toys, clothes in the world but one angry "YOU'RE SO STUPID" or "I HATE YOU" or "YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER/FATHER" can damage a person for life.

Elfreda Jones 09 May, 2014 16:26

So true. I saw three cute, little boys, with designer shirts, fly haircuts, a diamond stud in the oldest ear, high dollar tennis shoes and a mother CUSSIN them out. The little boys had a sadness about them that I will never forget. Spending money on them and then venting your frustrations cause you are living above your means to keep up with the ghetto fabulous. I bet they would have traded a hug and genuine time and affection for those designer clothes.

Jackie Seaman 09 May, 2014 17:00

Yes, especially since designer clothes are all about what the parent wants. Little kids generally have no knowledge of what is "In Style" or "Name Brand" until the parent teaches them to be that way.

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