Thursday, February 15, 2018

Finding Love in 2018!

I have never been real big on Valentine's day. I figure we tell (or SHOULD tell) the people we love how much they mean to us on a regular basis. On Valentine's Day the chocolate, and flower folks are making money, so whatever.
Now that Valentine’s Day is over, let me tell you this real quick story….
Related imageLOVE IS IN THE AIR! I started 2018 with the thought that I was not going to be single anymore. Yes, that means that I am going to start dating. I’m just torn between loneliness and convenience because I love having my bed and space to myself… I’m working on that. But I want someone to talk to… I know, a conundrum.
So now I have to figure out where the men are. I have waited around and no one is just gonna knock on your door like “Hey I’m here, God sent me”. So, where are they???

  • Yea, I don’t go to clubs or bars, but would you really want a guy you met in a bar … (been there, done that)
  • What about the church you say? Wellllllll, sometimes they the same ones from the club! Just Saying!👀
  • You can’t pick up a man at the gym. I heard that was douchy. Besides Y'all both all smelly & sweaty, not a good look.
  • I was hanging out at the grocery store to find dudes but people thought I was homeless and started throwing change at me.
  • Ladies, DO NOT believe those romantic movies, there are no fine men hanging out in museums or art galleries, and security tends to frown on you hanging out in there all day.
  • And I don’t know what the heck Cardi B is talking about because the only thing you get from the stripper pole is rug burn and a nasty rash…. And I found out that making Bloody moves was not at all what I thought it was… Don’t ask.

So as a final and last resort I did it…. Yep, I joined an online dating community!
It is free to join, and you have pictures just sent to you! EASY-PEEZY! YAAAAASSSSSSS, about to find a man in no time!
So I didn’t want to rush it, so I took my time, uploaded a picture, did some thinking when writing my bio and answering the questions about hobbies, likes, dislikes, etc. Pictures, messages, and flirts starting pouring in (flirts are the equivalent of Facebook pokes I guess. You know a "Hey Wassup").  

I felt like Tiffany Haddish... SHE REAAAADDDYYYYY!
Image result for she ready

So I went to the messages and clicked on the first one and got a pop up that said, "To read this message upgrade your account"! SERIOUSLY!! Yea it was free to join... and that was it!
So I have 56 Messages, 236 views, 11 matches, and 24 flirts, all of which I can do nothing about unless I pay 29.96 plus tax per month! I was like... Nope, No, Uh uh, Nada, Not happening.

Tomorrow I’m going to buy a damn cat.
Image result for no valentines day


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